St.
Joseph Church
Bristol, Connecticut
Deacon Robert M. Pallotti
Director of Deacons
Archdiocese of Hartford
The Theological and
Pastoral Challenges
and Opportunities of the Near-Death Experience
Part IV
Deacon Robert M. Pallotti, D.Min.
The previous articles were
primarily concerned with the NDE of adults, but what about children? Yes,
children have these experiences too. The NDE researcher, P.M.H. Atwater,
studied over 270 child NDEs. She found that:
- 76% reported a comforting
initial experience. Such experiences consisted of a loving
nothingness, a friendly voice, a visitation by a loving being, an
out-of-body experience, and/or the peacefulness of either a safe light
or safe dark place
- 19% reported a pleasurable or
heaven-like experience
- 3% reported a distressing or
hell-like experience
- 2% had a transcendent
experience in which they felt they acquired special knowledge
- Child NDEs tend to be simpler.
However, some children can have very complex NDEs
- more often include visitation
by a deceased pet or other animal, relatives unknown to the child until
the experience, and occasionally people who are alive.1
Those children who have had a
NDE also experience some psychological and physical changes. Many children
who have had a NDE undergo a change in sleep patterns and attentiveness.
There is a marked increase in interest in universal love rather than
directed at any one person, increased sensitivity to another person’s
feelings, increased interest in service to others, increased interest in
spirituality, a hunger for knowledge, difficulty in relating to children of
their own age, communication with angels, increased sensitivity to
medications and loud noises, increase in intelligence and intuition, and
learning abstract concepts at a much faster rate than their peers. All these
are some of the major changes a child who has had a NDE may have to adjust
to in their lives.
Children who have had a NDE
require that caregivers be sensitive to the changes they are going through
after their NDE. Caregivers can play a crucial role in helping a child to
cope with the after-effects of a NDE. The International Association for Near
Death Studies recommends the following steps be taken to help a child that
has had a NDE to cope with the after-effects of the experience.
- If a child has experienced a
cardiac arrest, be alert to the likelihood that the child had a NDE.
- Listen, listen, listen. Be
prepared to hear and show receptivity if/when a child describes near
death-like features.
- Expresses understandings of
topics that may be difficult to discuss. These can include the child’s
ambivalence about returning to his or her body and/or the child’s
communication with spirits. Trust the child’s reality, and respect the
child’s confidentiality.
- Gently ask open-ended
questions.
- Help the child discern when and
with whom it is safe to talk about their NDE-related experiences.
Anticipate changes in the child. Be prepared to guide the child through
the changes and phases of adjustment.
It is obvious that some of the
elements of NDEs that children have had raise certain doctrinal concerns.
Orthodox Catholic doctrine does not allow for animals to be in the
afterlife. However, is it possible that the loving and merciful God gives a
person the experience of having a favorite pet to meet the person in
death as a way of comforting the person? Again, we are reminded that
none of the people reporting NDEs have really died; they came near death and
have not crossed the final barrier into the new life. While they may have
had extraordinary spiritual experiences, they still do not know for certain
what lies beyond the threshold. In this situation it is more
important and more pastorally correct to be supportive of the child NDEr
rather than judge and comment on the child’s story about his or her NDE.
These are helpful suggestions for
dealing with the child who has had a NDE, but let us return to adults who
have had a NDE. First and foremost, the adult, like the child, who has had a
NDE needs a thoughtful and non-judgmental person to listen to his or her
story about the NDE. The person ministering to an individual who has had a
NDE can be a reassuring and comforting presence to the experiencer by
making known to them that they are one of almost 15 million Americans who
have had a NDE, that you do not believe they are crazy, and that you
are willing to be with them on their journey of integrating the experience.
The deacon as “caregiver” can also put the person who had the NDE in
touch with a local support group by contacting the International Association
of near Death Studies or IANDS at
www.iands.org.
The Change in Lifestyle
The family life of many NDErs
can suffer great strain. Just think of it, a person who was driven to
succeed in business and to make a considerable amount of income decided to
sell his business and to go into counseling. Such a change in one’s life is
going to have significant ramifications for the family. Many NDErs live with
a sense of living in the now and a sense of timelessness—not always
conducive to living in a world of tight and necessary schedules. There are
challenges that arise from the NDE for the individual and his or her family.
However, there are opportunities for both as well. For the NDEr life takes
on a new meaning directed toward a spiritual quest and recognition of the
goodness of all creation—as a result of believing he or she has met God in
the NDE. For the family, the NDE can mean a deeper grounding in the
spiritual life, and a chance to see organized religion not simply as a set
of beliefs, but as a vehicle and invitation to go deeper into the spiritual
mystery of life that shows itself in concrete acts of loving and justice. As
stated previously, for Christians, this takes the form of a concrete
following of the Lord Jesus Christ in the mode of discipleship in a
kenotic lifestyle (Phil.2:6-11).
The deacon can be of great
service to the NDEr and the family of a NDEr by helping each to know what
lies ahead. Also, the deacon can listen with compassion to the NDEr without
having to argue theology. Such a discussion will come at a later time when
the emotional stress of the experience has waned. The deacon can encourage
and walk with the NDEr on his or her journey to integrating the experience
into his or her life by a prayerful and reassuring presence trusting that
the Lord will always do what is best for the NDEr.
Theological and Pastoral
Challenges and Opportunities
Upon reviewing the content of
these articles it is clear that there are significant theological and
pastoral challenges that face deacons ministering to those who have had a
NDE. While many of the NDErs tend to be more open to belief in God and
eternal life, they have not really died and thus have not crossed the final
frontier of real death. Yet, they have had life-changing experiences, and
many NDErs are convinced that they have experienced union with the Lord.
That may be, and there are precedents for such a belief reflected in the
great mystical traditions of the various religious traditions. One of the
great Roman Catholic mystics, St. Theresa of Avila, recounted one of her
experiences in the following manner:
“I thought I was being carried up
to Heaven: The first persons I saw there were my mother and father, and such
great things happened in so short a time…I wish I could give a description
of at least the smallest part of what I learned, but when I try to discover
a way of doing so, I find it impossible, for while the light we see here and
that other light are both light, there is no comparison between the two and
the brightness of the sun seems quite dull if compared with the other.
[Afterwards] I was…left with very little fear of death…”2
Some of those who have had a NDE
will lead some of them to believe in reincarnation. Such a belief is in
opposition to orthodox Catholic teaching that holds that we only have one
earthly life. This poses a significant challenge to the deacons in a
theological and pastoral sense. While we cannot hold that reincarnation is a
Catholic belief we can listen in a compassionate pastoral manner to the
person who has had a NDE with the understanding that God’s ways are seldom
understood by human beings. The NDE can help us to remember that God is the
Ultimate Mystery and we wait upon this mystery to give us insight into God,
ourselves and the world. While we maintain that Jesus Christ is the ultimate
revelation of being fully to God and fully human, we can also maintain that
there is still much we do not know. How God chooses to work through Jesus
Christ in each historical epoch is not under our control. Yet, in a
fundamental act of faith we follow the way of Jesus Christ and await the
fullness of revelation at the great eschatological event of the Parousia.
Our faith in God and what happens to us after mortal life cannot be based on
the NDE. The Christian faith in based on the revelation of God transmitted
through the Sacred Scripture and Tradition. Yet, the NDE raises a
significant challenge to the materialism of our age, perhaps, opening many
to the quest of deepening the spiritual life.
There are people who offer
rational explanations of the NDE as lack of oxygen to the brain, release of
endorphins and brain dysfunction. But none of these explanations hold up to
criticism. So at this point we are left with the fact that the NDE has no
known scientific explanation.
It is clear that there are
theological and pastoral challenges confronting deacons as a result of the
NDE. However, there are also opportunities for deepening the spiritual lives
of people because of the NDE phenomenon. For one thing, the Catholic Church
has not taken an official stand on the reports of the NDE. There is wisdom
in not taking an official position on the NDE that recognizes that God is
free to act as God sees fit; it bespeaks a proper humility toward the
Ultimate mystery that is essential for spiritual wisdom; and that NDEs, as
compelling as they are, are not an end in themselves. The NDE seems to serve
as an invitation to the person to deepen their spiritual quest in this life;
and many NDErs do just that! Dr. Peter Fenwick states, “The common ground
between cultures and between individuals is that the NDE seems to be an
awakening experience, often arousing a sense of spirituality and a
stimulus for personal development.”3
The near-death experience
raises some interesting and significant theological issues for the Catholic
community. A review of the vast literature on NDEs suggests that some NDErs
leave organized religion for what they perceive as a more spiritually
oriented life. It is obvious why that may happen for some. For too many
people organized religion seems to be caught up in rules rather than in
promoting spiritual growth. As the Roman Catholic theologian, Cardinal Avery
Dulles, S. J., reminds us in his landmark book, Models of the Church,
an overemphasis on the institutional church tends to stifle spiritual life.
However, that need not be the case. A deacon can accept the critique of
organized religion by the NDEr, but also point out the great
spiritual/mystical tradition in Catholicism that points us beyond the
institutional Church to the Church that is sacrament.
Some NDErs see organized religion
as a source of dividing the human family. Certainly, there are episodes in
our Christian history that give credence to such a position. So often the
religious differences among people have led to separation, wars, persecution
and genocide of those of differing religious traditions. Again, the deacon
can respond to this by noting that the essence of the Christian experience
of Jesus Christ is one of loving all people for who and what they are.
Religion is not meant to divide but to bring the human family together under
the rule of the Lord. While religious traditions will be in some
disagreement with one another, such a situation does not have to lead to
conflict and separation, but rather, it can lead to dialogue and
cooperation. It is essential that the deacon point out that it is only
through a conversion of heart that we can move to such a universal,
Christ-based life that manifests God’s unconditional love for all and
creation.
Many of the NDE accounts describe
those on the other side who greeted the NDEr in Christian imagery.
Some describe meeting Jesus Christ, the Blessed Mother, or an angel. Other
NDErs use non-Christian imagery to speak of their experience. I noted before
that it seems that we are given an experience we can understand in highly
symbolic manifestations. It seems we get what we need to propel us on our
spiritual journey in this world. Why should we not accept the possibility
that angels appear to people, even if they are a symbolic representation of
the Divine presence. After all, the same can be said for the Christian
scripture. Scholars tell us that the references to angels in scripture are
considered to be circumlocutions to the Divine presence. Even the
manifestations of dead pets to children, who have had a NDE, may be the way
the child is put at ease in the situation of being in the Divine presence.
Perhaps, this is the best we can surmise on this side of death.
The experience of being greeted
by deceased relatives during the NDE or just prior to physical death seems
to be a widespread phenomenon. This should pose no special challenge to
deacons because it is an essential aspect of Catholic belief that we hold we
are still in the communion with the deceased. The formal doctrine is known
as the communion of saints. We pray for the dead because we believe
they are alive in a new way in the Lord and benefit from our prayers as we
benefit from our prayers for them.
Lastly, what does the NDE have to
say concerning the future of all creation and human history? That is hard to
say. Many of those who have had a NDE tell us that they were given glimpses
of future possibilities given certain choices that individuals and groups
make about the issues of the times. The NDE certainly raises the question of
life after death and the reality of God but it does not prove eternal life
or God. Such proof is not forthcoming. The reason for this is that anyone
who has not had a NDE can argue against its verifiability—with the exception
of veridical OBEs. At best, the NDE points us to a spiritual depth to
reality that transcends our ability to quantify and measure, i.e., that is,
beyond human manipulation. Only the knowledge borne of faith, surrender in
trust in the Father of Jesus Christ, can lead us to any kind of certainty as
regards eternal life and God. Christians believe that Jesus was raised from
the dead. This belief was communicated to us through the witness of the
apostles and those whose lives were transformed by the appearance of the
risen Christ.
Christian belief in eternal life
is not only concerned with personal existence but with the complete
transformation of the created order in the power of the resurrection.
However, the NDE can serve as a powerful invitation to explore and commit
oneself to the spiritual quest that leads to a conversion of heart. This
conversion of heart will be directed toward manifesting the unconditional
love of God in acts of charity and in a deliberate choice to work for peace
and justice in this world. Such a life points beyond the materialism of our
age to the resurrection life of personal and cosmic transformation in
Christ.
These introductory articles are
only capable of scraping the surface of this profound spiritual experience
that many people who have come to the brink of death report to us. More
study and discussion will be necessary to continue to learn about and
understand this phenomenon. It may be that science will never be able to
give an answer based solely on scientific methods currently employed.
However, we know, as people of faith, that there are other modes of knowing;
and the greatest of these modes is the mode of trusting faith in the God who
reveals in the resurrection of Jesus Christ, that “love conquers all.”
Certainly, the NDE tells us that we are more than our physical bodies and
that our lives will be judged based on how we have loved others, God, the
self and creation. Christianity has no quarrel with the assertion of having
had a NDE, but it points beyond the NDE to the final act of universal
consummation when “God will be all in all.” I. Cor. 15: 28.
Notes
1 Pamela Kircher, M.D., Jan Holden,
Ed.D, P.M. H. Atwater, Lh.D, Melvin Morse, M.D. and the IANDS Board of
Directors, Children’s Near-Death Experiences, International
Association for Near-Death Studies, Inc., Brochure, (East Windsor Hill, Ct.,
2003).
2 Mark Fox, Religion,
Spirituality and the Near-Death Experience (New York: Routledge, 2003),
p.84.
3 Dr. Peter Fenwick, The Truth in
the Light (New York: Berkley Books, 1995), p.33
Copyright © 2006 by Deacon Robert M. Pallotti, D. Min.
All Rights Reserved
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